How the Resurgence of the Word ‘Simp’ Is a Nod to Incel Culture and Ancient Misogyny
I first heard the word a few years ago from a guy friend. He was disgruntled by modern dating and by his own negative experiences in relationships. He was disappointed in himself for still being a bachelor in his mid-30s, as he’d always desired a loving, fulfilling marriage and family. Despite this dream, he was convinced his fate was to be alone for the rest of his life; forever desiring what he couldn’t have… and he told me why he thought so:
“I can’t find or keep a girl because I’m too much of a simp.”
“What’s that?”
“It means I try too hard and girls see me as beta.”
(Don’t even get me started on the words ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’).
I knew that over-giving and people-pleasing were signs of neediness and self-abandonment. Naturally, placing someone on a pedestal insinuates that you’re powerless and not the greatest catch yourself. I assumed that’s what he meant.
But then I started hearing the word used in other scenarios:
- If a man called out another man’s misogynistic behavior, he was a ‘simp.’
- If a man did something thoughtful for his girlfriend of wife, he was a ‘simp.’